i spoke early and since then words have stood for everything i was trying to get and as a barrier to everything i needed. articulate is one of the main words used to describe me. however, intelligence and being articulate can impede as much as they can aid. sometimes i am overwhelmed by the lack of words that describe what i feel. i can tell you how the book says i should feel but there aren't enough words in the English language to adequately converse to you what is going on inside me at this moment inside and visceral noises just tend to frighten.
the thing is, words can make you appear intelligent but they also decieve both you and everyone else on each level. they can aid an appearance of clarity and togetherness but sometimes you really need someone to be able to see between the protesting syllables to see a self that is crumbling quicker than the lies can fall out of your pursed lips.
sometimes, maybe, i just need someone to hug me and to sit with me in a silence that says all that needs to be said.
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