Monday 15 October 2012

Hate is not too strong a word...

Some I feel that being in the mental health system has been like being in an abusive relationship.  I've been told so many times that I cannot survive without them that most of me believes it to be so.  No matter how bad things have been, I stay around because I am scared that without them I may die.  That I'll fall forever and there will be no ledge, no way of stopping.  I do not believe I can stop myself.
They pulled apart all I knew.  They systematically destroyed it.  My world and they never helped to repair it.  They took all my resources, threw me out, took away everything that made my life worth living and told me it was all my fault.  Kicked out of my nest, no skills for adult living and they expected me to flourish.  When I didn't, they blamed me.
They ruined my life, obliterated everything.  Took away my family and my home, made me distrust everything about myself, told me my family was bad for me, told me it was fault that everything was falling apart.  Made me feel there was something intrinsically wrong with us, then the disappeared and rejected all responsibility.
Thou Shalt Not Harm?!
"'For your own good' is a persuasive argument that will eventually make a man agree to his own destruction" Janet Frame

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